I have been here 5.5 months now. I am officially halfway done with my time and that excites me and scares me all at the same time. We have been on break and stuck inside due to "snow" but that has given me time to reflect on everything that I have seen while here.
2 years ago at Olivet our scripture for the year was this: Ezekiel 36: 24-29a
“‘For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God. I will save you from all your uncleanness."
As I have been here, I have been reflecting on such verses, but I have found that I've been bitter towards certain things I see in my own country. It's so easy to be frustrated with your own culture when you see their blind-spots from an outside perspective. This is a good and healthy thing. To a point. But as I hear people's own issues with this cultures, many of which I would agree from my "western perspective", but I can see my own hypocrisy in this.
I have always read this verse and 2 Chronicles 7:14 in the perspective of a nation. I have seen it as an external issue that I need to pray for the change of the people around me. So I often I have forgotten that the change has to start with me. Personally.
As I have been here, I have been separated from my friends and family and the comforts of living in a western country where I can pretty much wear what I want to and go where I want to when I would like to. But I cannot do that here. I'm confined within the spoken and unspoken rules of a society that is not my own. But I have learned a lot more about myself in the process.
I have had to learn how to be more organized. No, my room is still currently a disaster (Sorry mom) but financial records, school, and other activities I have been a part of had to be more detailed. I have learned that I am content to be alone as much as I am with other people. I have had to force myself to go out more but be intentional because my day has to be planned so I'm not trying to leave alone after dark.
But I have finally learned to see the people around me. When I got here I saw people and families and struggles and hospitality. But now I see deeper into hearts and understanding. Even as my Arabic has been coming slowly, I can pick up bits of conversations and now have a better understanding of context at every given situation even if I'm not entirely sure of what's being said.
But I have finally learned to see the people around me. When I got here I saw people and families and struggles and hospitality. But now I see deeper into hearts and understanding. Even as my Arabic has been coming slowly, I can pick up bits of conversations and now have a better understanding of context at every given situation even if I'm not entirely sure of what's being said.
When I first arrived, almost every day I would pass a hill with a series of rocks placed seemingly randomly along the hillside. From my western outside perspective, I only saw a bunch of random stones in a place that could have been for more apartment buildings or something of "use". It's only been in the last couple months that I realized what those stones were. It was an old burial site. My perspective on life here has changed so much that at first I totally missed what seems to be obvious things to me now. I had no idea what I was missing, but my heart was the heart of stone. It's my heart that is turning into a heart of flesh.
I had no idea how painful of a process this would be. Heart is breaking almost every day for the different situations I hear about. Jordan is doing its best to help the surrounding countries with the refugee situation, but this small country is housing thousands of refugees more than other bigger countries in the west that could financially accommodate a lot better.
I'm praying for my students because I know some of them didn't get full meals every day. The winter has been mild, but we were shut-down a few days because of snow and "cold weather". I know some of them only had a few warmer items and would usually wear all of their clothes layered together to school just to stay warm. I am praying for some friends because of various needs that we have become aware of. I'm praying that God continues to shape my heart into His because I know these next 5.5 months will be difficult, fun, exciting, and emotionally taxing.
I thank God for the chance to settle down and reflect on everything He has done in my own heart because I know things will not get easier when I get home, but will be a new set of challenges based on an entirely new perspective. I thank God for my friends and family who have helped bring me here because I could not do this without the love and support of everyone here and at home.
I'm praying for my students because I know some of them didn't get full meals every day. The winter has been mild, but we were shut-down a few days because of snow and "cold weather". I know some of them only had a few warmer items and would usually wear all of their clothes layered together to school just to stay warm. I am praying for some friends because of various needs that we have become aware of. I'm praying that God continues to shape my heart into His because I know these next 5.5 months will be difficult, fun, exciting, and emotionally taxing.
I thank God for the chance to settle down and reflect on everything He has done in my own heart because I know things will not get easier when I get home, but will be a new set of challenges based on an entirely new perspective. I thank God for my friends and family who have helped bring me here because I could not do this without the love and support of everyone here and at home.
*~*~*~*~*~*~Rebekah Is In Jordan : How To Support Pray4MiddleEast.~*~*~*~*~*~*
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