May I be compelled

[Wrote this about 6 months ago and finally publishing. I have already come so far and in just under 4 and a half days, I'll be getting on a plane. I'm just in awe...]




Long ago I heard the call.

A call I couldn't help but hear.

Like that constant ringing in my ear

               from a subtle alarm after a restless night sleep. 

And for me, I couldn't say no.

Even after everything that was told...

"But its dangerous"

          they say...

"There is war"

          I know...

But I'm compelled by something greater. 

I was told that I HAVE to go.

So in my time that I've waited, 

I've thought and contemplated, that maybe I was wrong.

Voices in my head tell me so many directions, how can I know if I'm taking the right path.

And yet, here I am.

By some grace of God I am here. 

With a voice shaking as the one I imagine possessed by a prophet with unclean lips.

I can't say that I can predict the dangers before me, 

But there is no greater place in than in the arms of the one who was scarred, nailed to a tree.

Realistically,

           There is no reason for me to be going.

Statistically,

            There is not logically the path someone "like me" should choose.

But it doesn't matter. 

Everyday I read the news—and my heart breaks a little more.

             Shattered into as many pieces as their homes and nations as I picture their faces and I cry. 

Everyday is one day closer to me leaving for 1 year, which could mean eternity for someone else.

Transformation—planting Seeds

               Its not up to me to decide the outcome that I may or may not see.

I can't even for sure say what I will be doing.

Bits and pieces I understand, but how a business major is teaching English as a part of this grander plan, I have no idea.

But this isn't the first, nor the last time God calls those who feel inadequate. 

In fact, I'm sure those types of people are His favorite.

I'm compelled to go, but I can't lean on me.

I'm striving to listen even if the road isn't something I can see.

He has provided every step. 

All I need to know is that He is for me. He goes with me. 

I couldn't just wait for my call 
                as if God is gonna pick up the phone and give it a ring.

Two-Thousand years ago call was already left for me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Rebekah Is Jordan Bound: How To Support M.E.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

For cash or check please send charitable donations to Global Treasury Services. Checks should be made payable to General Treasurer Church of the Nazarene at: 

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 P.O. Box 843116

 Kansas City, MO 64184 

and memo should include the following information: 1. Amman, Jordan 2. Rebekah Musselman. 3. Mission Corps.

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